Is it time to do a 180 degree shift on the subject of time management?

So much has been written on how to manage one’s time more effectively; I sometimes wonder if the guidance being offered by so many “experts” is resonating with people. In today’s world, cluttered as it is with communications, volumes of advice often go unheard and unread — despite their worth.

So let’s try a contrarian approach. Let’s see if this gets through the clutter. Here are six valuable tips on how NOT to manage your time. These tips will guide you to waste time and ensure you are totally ineffective in your job.

1. Put a “To Do” list together of at least ten things you intend to accomplish. It’s always impressive to have a long list of tasks and projects you intend to do. And it also guarantees that you will make little progress on any one of them. Multitasking is a great way to waste time and minimize your effectiveness.

2. Kiss up to your boss every chance you can. Rather than doing what you think is right, focus on what you think THEY want. But don’t ask them directly. Devote your day to trying to figure out what they think you should do and what you can do for them. Quite often your boss has no idea what he or she wants, so you are likely to work on sketching that is not needed. And the day passes quickly.

3. Write activity reports on what you’ve been up to. Make sure you provide copious amounts of detail; it gives the impression that your work is precise and thorough. And, the more detail you provide, the longer it takes to write those reports, the more time you will consume. Send your reports far and wide in the organization. Your objective is to make people know that you are a “busy bee” and overworked.

4. Send emails when you have something to say. Don’t send text messages because they are too brief and only take a few moments to compose. Again, be granular in your story. And answer every email sent to you. Set aside time every day to do this. Don’t set your spam filter to ward off unwanted communication. Every message has some redeeming value; you don’t want to miss it.

5. Organize and chair numerous face-to-face meetings with people on every topic on your to-do list. Meetings are an excellent source for collecting action items and offer an opportunity to add to your activity reports. Don’t think too much about whether or not the action item is relevant, just do it.

6. Stay late at the office at least four out of every five days. The more time you put in, the more activities you engage in, the more activity reports you can author. Attempt to complete as many tasks as you can each evening; this will prevent you from achieving anything and will waste time. And be sure to include your late night hours in your activity reports; it will impress fellow time wasters.

Time mismanagement is an art form requiring careful planning and perseverance to be recognized as an expert in the field. If you follow these six tips you will be successful in creating a personal brand with “time waster” indelibly etched in it.

Now, what do you think? Have I broken through the clutter and made you smile? What tips would you add to this list?

photo credit: 365:42 – Time via photopin (license)