Understandably, most leaders spend their time focusing on strategy, problem-solving, process, performance, and others. These are all critical to success, but what if the biggest game-changer isn’t external at all? Self-awareness is an often-overlooked leadership skill that determines whether you inspire trust, build strong teams, and achieve results or face the costly impact of team frustration, poor retention, ineffective performance management, and needless friction.
We all think we know ourselves. But do we really? Leadership self-awareness isn’t about good intentions or taking one personality test—it’s about consistently understanding how your behavior affects others.
If you’re reading this thinking, “I’ve done the work”, here’s the catch: you may only think you know yourself. Odds are, you mostly do. But real self-awareness isn’t static. And the blind spots that held you back five years ago? They may still be showing up in subtler, more impactful ways.
Embracing the A-HA Moments
A few years ago, I worked with the CMO of a high-growth tech startup. She was sharp, experienced, and deeply committed to her team. When I asked if she’d ever taken a leadership assessment, she opened a drawer and pulled out a thick stack—she’d done them all. We discussed her style, her strengths, and the “watch-out fors” she believed she’d resolved. She came across as self-aware and thoughtful—exactly the kind of leader I love working with.
During a team workshop a week later, everything seemed fine—until I asked the team a key question:
“On a scale of 1–10, how engaged and successful do you feel at work?”
The anonymous poll results surprised us both: mostly 5s and 6s, a few 3s and 4s, and one lonely 9. After the session, the CMO called me immediately. “Tracy,” she said, “I was the 9.” She was shocked. She had no idea her team was struggling that much, especially while she felt so fulfilled.
To her credit, she didn’t get defensive. She met with each team member individually to ask what they needed and what she could be doing more or less of. What she heard was eye-opening: people felt things were never good enough, they lacked clarity, and they wanted more mentoring from her.
Her intentions were good. But her blind spots were still impacting the team.
That’s the thing about self-awareness – it’s not a box to check once and move on. It’s a practice. Even the most well-meaning, experienced leaders have room to grow. If she didn’t see it coming, maybe you won’t either.
The Self-Aware Leader
A self-aware leader has a clear understanding of:
- What they need to lead at their best – what helps them be ‘in stride’ and most effective.
- Their strengths and blind spots – they know who they are and they know who they’re not.
- Their values and beliefs – what they care about deeply, why, and most importantly, how to live it.
- The brand they are trying to build and the impact they want to have.
When a leader is self-aware, they:
- Show up with authenticity, making them more trusted and respected.
- Own their mistakes and seek feedback and input.
- Don’t take things personally or get defensive.
- Stay curious, seeking to understand others’ perspectives.
- Are open and vulnerable, creating a culture of psychological safety.
- Give credit where it’s due and celebrate others’ successes.
On the flip side, leaders who lack self-awareness often:
- Blame their team when things go wrong.
- Create a culture of fear or disengagement.
- Resist feedback and avoid personal accountability.
- Feel frustrated because they don’t understand why they’re not getting results.
- Struggle to retain high performers.
When leaders fail to recognize that they might be the problem, their teams suffer—and so does business performance.
Real Leaders, Real Impact
Let me bring this to life with two leaders I’ve worked with.
Nick is a high-performer and successful entrepreneur, but his blind spot is burning through new leadership team members. Instead of reflecting on his leadership style, he blames hiring decisions, market pace, or underperformance. But the pattern repeats. It doesn’t matter who he brings to the team; without accountability, the outcome won’t change.
Contrast that with Rani, a tech CEO who is open, grounded, and willing to reflect. Is she perfect? Of course not. But when her team raises concerns, she doesn’t get defensive. She asks questions, seeks to understand how her behavior is contributing, and aims to make adjustments. That’s what self-aware leadership looks like.
Diagnosing Your Self-Awareness: A Leadership Gut Check
Wondering if you’re as self-aware as you think? Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you getting the results you want at the speed you want? If not, could your leadership approach be part of the problem?
- Do you often feel frustrated with your team? If yes, is it possible your communication, expectations, or feedback style needs adjusting?
- What do you do when your team brings you feedback or raises a concern? Do you lean in with curiosity, or get defensive and frustrated that you have to “explain yourself again”?
- How much time do you actively dedicate to thinking about how you lead? Are you reflective, intentional, and deliberate about how you show up, leverage your strengths and manage your blindspots?
Cultivating Self-Awareness: Where to Start
Building self-awareness isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Here are some strategies to help:
- Dedicate time for reflection: As we learned from our leader above, self-awareness is a lifelong practice, not a one-time event. Sure, you’ve thought about your leadership style before, but do you do it actively, regularly, and intentionally? Time block at least once a month to step back and think about your leadership: – what seems to be working, what’s not, where are you inadvertently causing angst, or actively leveraging your talents?
- Be open to and seek feedback. Regularly ask your team for honest input. Consider a leadership 360 to kick-start this process. Leverage personality profiling to help uncover strengths, blind spots, motivators, and values.
- Actively invest in your growth: Get a mentor, hire a coach, attend executive forums like CHIEF (women C-level leaders), Young Presidents Organization (YPO), or leadership development courses that give you exposure to other great leaders where you can learn, grow, and consistently develop new skills.
- Take care of yourself: Sometimes we’re so busy in the day-to-day, putting out fires and taking care of others, that we forget to take a step back and take care of ourselves. And yet, managing our emotions as a leader and fueling ourselves mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally are keys to success. Are you doing all the things to help you stay at your best? – Think rest and recovery, movement and exercise, hydration and fueling, meditation and connection.
- Identify your leadership legacy: If you know who you want to be, you’ll know how to get there. Be clear and intentional about who you are, the brand you want to create for yourself, and the impact you want to have.
Self-Awareness = Leadership Effectiveness
Ultimately, leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about knowing yourself well enough to adapt, grow, and inspire others. The best leaders take 100% ownership of their impact. Are you ready to be one of them?
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