On the second day of my first sales job after graduating from college, the corporate trainer said two words that sent shivers down my spine: “Role plays.” He explained that all the new hires would practice our pitches with a partner before presenting them to the group. Growing up as a shy introvert with a debilitating stutter, the notion that we wouldn’t have time to gather our thoughts and review our notes alone completely paralyzed me.
Fortunately, my newly appointed manager sensed my unease. Once I explained my fears, he told the trainer he was stealing me for the day. He then set me up at a desk in the corner of the sales floor, handed me some scripts and a pile of old leads, and encouraged me to find my footing, adding that his door was open if I had any questions.
I’m forever grateful to my manager. He took it fast and loud with some, and slow and quiet with others. By treating each person on his team as an individual, he created a culture where the masses followed him. By allowing me to take my time and move at my own pace to get started, it gave me the confidence to step out from the shadows and be more visible. Just a year later, that change paid off as I was promoted to management, where I led a sales team and served as corporate trainer.
Here are four ways to navigate the workplace as an introvert in a world that often feels like it’s designed to suit the strengths of extroverts.
Prioritize Comfort Over Confidence
When starting a new job, we may feel like we have to mask our insecurities and project an air of confidence. The experience with my sales manager made me realize finding our way to feel comfortable at work is more important than trying to impress our peers.
Being surrounded by a sea of extroverts in a sales environment, one way that helped me feel more at ease was making friends with those who went out of their way to welcome me. My manager and I really hit it off. I was the Andy Richter to his Conan O’Brien—the reserved sidekick who’s usually quiet but throws something observant or funny into the conversation every few minutes. I admired his outgoing, charismatic demeanor, and he appreciated my reflective nature.
Don’t be afraid to be Andy! If that’s who you are, the sooner you can bring some of your true self to work, the better. You don’t have to be directly under the spotlight to catch some rays. Start by getting comfortable enough to share your honest views. The best workplaces won’t just make room for them, they’ll value diversity of thought.
Make It Clear Up Front How You Best Communicate
Some people communicate best verbally, while others do so in writing. The beauty of the world we live in today is there is room for all of us to thrive. If you fall more on the introverted side, let your team know that you need time to collect and crystalize your thoughts. I tend to be reserved in meetings, as I’m absorbing what’s being said. Making it clear up front that I’ll send a memo once I’ve let things sit has helped reduce a lot of the stress I used to experience. Not talking does not mean you’re not contributing.
The important thing is not to use your introversion as a crutch that you always lean on. It’s easy to talk ourselves into not being vocal if it isn’t our baseline. If you have ideas to express or questions you want to ask, make a commitment to yourself to speak up. If this feels overwhelming, write your thoughts before the meeting and share them early on. Doing so will not only build your confidence, it will also free up the headspace to better listen, as you won’t be worried about what you’re going to say.
Focus on Building One Relationship at a Time
When I began my career, I interpreted networking as meeting and building relationships with new people. However, over time, my eyes opened to the fact that networking is making a connection with just one new person. Though simple, this switch changed everything.
Prioritize depth over width in the workplace. Lean into connecting with people one-on-one. A former colleague built his network by inviting one new person a week to go for a walk during lunch. He felt more comfortable getting more personable with people outside the office and the new environment sparked different talking points. One other thing he did that was really smart is he proactively asked new teammates to accompany him on these walks, as they, too, may have been looking to build new connections.
You might also make it a point to get to know other people at work who are more introverted and reserved. We don’t need a massive network to succeed, we need a supportive one. There’s nobody stopping you from creating an introverted tribe to create the noise you want to hear in the world.
Choose One Flavor of Discomfort
It can be easy to write off an opportunity because we think it isn’t for us or we’re scared of making a fool of ourselves. If the voice inside your head is saying it could be good for you, listen to it. Once you’ve found your comfortable footing, choose to be someone who puts themselves in front of growth opportunities. Maybe this entails making an effort to speak up more in meetings or improve your public speaking or sales skills.
The beauty of being introverted is we’re often underestimated and many people don’t expect us to build skills that are associated with our more extroverted counterparts. Remember, you don’t have to go at it alone. Seek out colleagues who want to develop a particular skill. A few colleagues and I helped each other with our presentations. Since we all embraced being bad, over time we got better together. Respect in the workplace isn’t only gained by getting things right, it’s also awarded to those who try and are willing to learn new skills.
Embrace Your Voice and Bring Others Along
I’m not sure where I’d be today if it hadn’t been for my manager’s empathy and awareness when I began my career. By letting me find my voice on my own terms, he taught me one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my career: each of us thrives in different ways, and it’s only when we embrace our differences can we create a workplace built on our collective strengths.
Like all good investments, putting in the time to navigate through the workplace compounds.
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